It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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