Whod you bang
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
