How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
