It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
