the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
