He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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