Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
