i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
