you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
