i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
