i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
