can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
