I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
