Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he was CRYING into my vagina
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
