we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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