Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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