I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
