One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
