Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
