Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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