i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
