This is not my ceiling
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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