I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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