We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
