Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
