I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
