really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
