I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
