so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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