She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
another moral hangover. fuck.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
