I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
