Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
