dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
