Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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