I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Who died my cat blue again?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
