If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
