dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
