But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
