Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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