So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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