Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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