Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
