this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
