he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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