I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
