We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
