My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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