i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
