hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
well, you know. whores of a feather.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
