Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
