i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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