4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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